tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21617402.post530145282087004362..comments2023-06-24T23:56:11.900+10:00Comments on cassa verba: Using the 'A' word (no, not that one...)Feminahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00165898043661304241noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21617402.post-87009906041370918752009-02-18T09:08:00.000+11:002009-02-18T09:08:00.000+11:00Thanks for sharing that Lilly. I'm sorry you went ...Thanks for sharing that Lilly. I'm sorry you went through what you did - it sucks that the people who are left with the scars are the ones who didn't do anything to deserve it.<BR/><BR/>I guess I didn't make it clear that I wasn't really upset <I>with</I> my friend. Well, okay I probably was when I wrote this post but I've had time to reflect since then. I know she didn't actually doubt me; she just happened to push some buttons that she didn't even know were there, and it fed right into my doubts and insecurities.<BR/><BR/>My counsellor keeps assuring me this is all completely normal... to which I generally reply, "So, I'm completely screwed up but I'm the <I>normal</I> kind of screwed up? Good to know!" :)Feminahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00165898043661304241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21617402.post-61325053000684230332009-02-17T21:20:00.000+11:002009-02-17T21:20:00.000+11:00Abuse does come in many forms and in our guts we k...Abuse does come in many forms and in our guts we know what is normal and abnormal. I dont talk about this too often but I was in a very abusive relationship. He tried to strangle me and that was the good stuff. Do you know that while I was in that relationship I would have been hard pressed to call him abusive. I'm no shrinking violet and never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would be in that situation. It's abuse Femina and its left you with the scars to prove it. We need to start calling it for what it is (relative or not), but we also need to realise that anyone who has not suffered it can't get their heads around it sometimes. Never doubt yourself, ever. I am proud of you that you have sought counselling about this. Its tough but we learn what not to accept in future.Lillyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14597193176450931002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21617402.post-32760035835944962842009-02-14T21:29:00.000+11:002009-02-14T21:29:00.000+11:00Don't worry, mate, I won't stop now! I'm travellin...Don't worry, mate, I won't stop now! I'm travelling on a bumpy, unsealed road in a car with dodgy suspension but it's STILL a road worth travelling. (Note: you may need to remind me of this next time I ask what the heck I'm doing.)Feminahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00165898043661304241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21617402.post-46711904315324670552009-02-14T21:26:00.000+11:002009-02-14T21:26:00.000+11:00I agree that you shouldn't feel the need to defend...I agree that you shouldn't feel the need to defend the term you use, and yet also think that it's one of those terms that does need redefinition as it is often so solely lined with sexual abuse. I know it makes it a harder path for you to walk but it's an important one. Try to be patient, you are teaching as much as you are learning.Louisa Clairehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01504106677453816810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21617402.post-56759681520755387522009-02-14T15:12:00.000+11:002009-02-14T15:12:00.000+11:00Why do we expect that an abusive 12 year old bully...Why do we expect that an abusive 12 year old bully will grow up into someone who is not a 26, 38, 45, 89 year old abusive bully?<BR/><BR/>It's also weird that we think of children as 'innocent', then get worried when they don't 'grow out of' cruel behaviour.<BR/><BR/>And it's weird that we seem to expect that there are gradations of abuse. That you need to justify what happened to you as abuse (and not just to others, but to yourself).<BR/><BR/>I guess, though, that it is hard for those of us who only suffered teasing and the occasional physical shove fight to understand that there are siblings who are actually abusive rather than simply painful.<BR/><BR/>You're on a hard road, but keep on going, kiddo, keep on going.Hippomanic Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12285378246081322317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21617402.post-88317155001461718242009-02-14T11:39:00.000+11:002009-02-14T11:39:00.000+11:00Yes abuse comes in many forms and just because the...Yes abuse comes in many forms and just because the type you endured wasn't the type most people first think of doesn't make it any less real.Long dark hair, blue eyeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09439341611625886882noreply@blogger.com