The year in review...

It's only as the end of the year approaches that I'm starting to realise just how stressful and generally miserable this year has been. I've spent most of the year in a constant, gut-churning, sleep-depriving worry about money, with the possibility of having to quit uni and move back interstate hanging constantly over my head. Uni itself was tremendously hard work and had its own stresses with my Latin teacher in first semester - which is not really resolved, since I'll have to deal with her next year in Honours. Church has been... interesting. I think what I found quite difficult is that with all the other stresses I really needed some support - or just someone to say, "yeah, that sucks" - but I don't have that support here at all. So I had a whole lot of stress and no outlet for it, which in itself caused me stress and made me depressed and cranky a lot of the time. Generally, a pretty unpleasant year, and I'm only realising it now as I have a bit of time to think about things. I've been pushing all this stress etc to one side all year, because there were too many things that needed to get done, but it escaped fairly often... generally in the form of bad temper and shrewishness. Nice. I'm surprised my head didn't explode some time around August.

I don't know what next year will bring. Hopefully not more of the same, although I don't expect it to be stress-free. I suppose what I need is some way of dealing with it (other than being a shrew), rather than simply hoping it's a better year. If I hadn't spent the year ignoring God it may have helped... sigh.


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