Giving things to God

It's really quite hard to know when I've truly given something over to God. I've been worrying about my future - partly about the rest of this year, but also about what I'll do next year, and about the end of the year, since my government benefits will cease in November some time, but I won't know until January whether I am eligible for a scholarship for post-grad... and even then it probably wouldn't be paid until March, which means I'll be 4 months with no income. Scary, since I have to pay rent and eat. So anyway I was praying about all this tonight, and I prayed that I would be able to stop worrying and give the situation over to God. The thing is, though, giving something over to God doesn't mean I can entirely dismiss it from my mind. I still need to make a decision about applying for post-grad, I still need to fill in the forms, I still need to think responsibly about how I'll pay the rent at the end of the year. I don't think that handing things to God means we're allowed to turn off our brain, but then that raises the question of whether I've really handed it over to God. I suppose the real indicator will be my stress and worry levels... I suspect I'll need to hand this to God more than once!

In other news:
I'm still enjoying spending time with God, possibly for the first time in my Christian life... which is a little worrying. (Still, better late to this party than not at all.) My struggle at the moment is to make Christianity part of my whole life. Obviously I'm always a Christian, but the temptation is to 'do' God time and leave it at that. Reading the Bible and praying are great things to be doing, but I don't want it to become a case of 'I've done my 20 minutes; now I can get on with my day'. It's a bit of a balancing act and I'm not too good at it at the moment.


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