Slightly twisted Christmas traditions

As Christmas approaches I've been reading of some lovely family traditions for Christmas. People decorate the tree together, walk around at night to look at the Christmas lights, leave cookies out for Santa, write letters to children from Santa... it all sounds delightful.

Now let me tell you about my family's Christmas tradition. When we were children, at some point during the day on Christmas Eve my father would say, "Did you hear the news?" "No," we'd say, wide-eyed, "what news?" "There's been a storm," my father would say, "at the North Pole. It was just on the radio. Santa isn't going to be able to make it this year." We'd squeal and yell, "No, you're wrong!" Later on, when we'd established that yes, Santa would be arriving this year, my Dad would say, "I'm sick of those reindeer tearing up my lawn every year. I'm going to set a trap for them this year... see if I can catch one." A variation on this would be him walking casually into the room holding some rope. Curiosity would always get the better of us and we'd ask why he had the rope. "Oh, just setting a trap for the reindeer." And on Christmas morning, when there were clearly no captured reindeer, he'd say, "They got away! I came out here this morning and found hoof marks all over my lawn! And there was reindeer poo - eight of them... plus one red one at the front. That must have been Rudolph."

I've told people these 'traditions' before and they generally look horrified that someone would traumatise their children in this way. Let me state categorically - we loved it and thought it was very funny. To this day my sisters and I will ring each other at some point on Christmas Eve and start the conversation with "Hey... have you heard the news?" It's considered a huge feather in one's cap if the other person is too distracted to work it out and responds with "No... what news?"

So here's to weird family traditions - long may they continue!
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